Ah Thanksgiving. A time for family and friends to sit down and enjoy a great meal together. Time to reflect on the blessings one has had over the last year and hope that the future will be just as, if not brighter. Time for me to stuff my gut so full I’ll wish I had never been born. Then complain how fat I am. Just being honest.
As you are carving into the plump juicy turkey (note to self, never write blog hungry again…) let’s just say the zombies attack. Despite all your preparations, they were all done at your house, not your Aunt Sue’s house. There was no warning, there was no time, and you didn’t even get to get any of that turkey or stuffing. Ok I lied, you stole some stuffing while it was still in the kitchen, but hey now that the zombies are here, you’re really glad you did.
What are you going to do? Well, first thing I would do is grab the table cloth, and cover the turkey. If I make it out alive, I’ll want to eat it and I’m not sure that zombie goop goes well with breast meat. Now that your dinner is safe, it’s time to turn your attention to the walkers that are trying to eat Uncle Henry. Time to do some zombie killing, Thanksgiving style.
So if you have been reading my melee blogs all year, you will kind of already know what I have to say. You chairs can be used as weapons and shields. Your knives can be utilized as well. Have a kiddy table? It never has any of the food on it, so use this to protect you as well. Your goal should be do two things. 1. Get to a safer area to hide the less able and to arm yourselves, and 2. Take out all immediate threats so you can board up the home.
We have already gone over how to use kitchen knives, pans, and chairs, but let’s talk about some of the other things you might find at the table or in the kitchen to protect yourself.
Pots: You’re not going to be able to kill a zed with a pot more than likely, but you can make it easier to deal with them. Turn it over on it’s head and shove the cranium inside. At worst, you won’t get bitten, at best it may disorient the zombie enough to get it out of the house or at least stop it from attacking you for the time being.
Lamps: Bash those buggers over the head. If you’re lucky and get a floor lamp, try to get the base off of it, and you can use the body as a spear. If not, do your best to break those skulls with the lamp. You could also take the cords and try to restrain the arms and or legs of the zombie. Arms are more of a threat because getting scratched by a zombie could be just as deadly as getting bit. The disease and bacteria those things could have under their fingernails could make you really sick. So take the arms out of the equation first if you can.
Curio Cabinet: OK, your aunt will just have to get over her priceless porcelain elephant collection. Dump this on a zed to hopefully take him out. If not at least knock him down and then curb stomp em. The second thing this could do for you is create a barrier between you and the zed which will hopefully trip them up.
Anything heavy: Your electricity isn’t going to last long anyway, which will render that Keurig machine useless. Put it back into use by bashing in a zombie skull. Bread Boxes, spice racks, wine bottles, anything that could potentially knock someone out should be used to get to safety or at least better weapons. Get creative, and don’t be afraid to break stuff. Your aunt couldn’t use it if you hadn’t protected her from the zombies in the first place.
With some quick thinking you can get yourself to some good weapons like crowbars, baseball bats, or even guns. Just be sure silencers are used so you don’t attract more zed to you.
Once you have eliminated the zombies from the house, reinforce every possible entrance way to prevent them from getting back in. Then eat your meal in awkward silence. That turkey will be just as good cold, but set the gravy to the side. Nothing’s worse than cold gravy.
If you have any ideas for future melee weapon blogs or you just want to share your opinion on today’s blog, you can email or post in the comments below. You can also follow Dead Future on Facebook and Google +. You can also follow me on Twitter and Google +.
Till Fate brings our Future…
Lets face it, in the final days, fighting zombies is going to be inevitable. And sometimes you want to take them out, all quiet like. My first rule when it comes to choosing weapons is to remember that blades never need reloading.
But sometimes you don’t have a sword at your disposal and you have to improvise a little bit. That’s why I’m doing a segment on melee weapons. Sometimes it will be about conventional weapons like swords or machetes, and sometimes it will be about improvised weapons, like that 2×4 that just happened to be laying around. Today I want to talk about the shovel.
Yes that’s right the shovel. This multi purpose tool can not only help you with your future gardening projects at your safe house, but can be an effective zombie killing machine. If used correctly.
As there are many diffrent kinds of shovels out there, so let me clarify as to which ones could help you. You want a spade shovel. The kind with the pointy scoop. The flat scoop is great for doggy duty, or shoveling snow, but we are talking about taking zombie heads off here people. The spade is designed to effectively dig through the earth and even chop up roots. This leads to it being better able to sever a spinal cord, or ramming it through a zed’s cranial cavity. As opposed to a flat shovel who’s only use would be to slam a zombie in the face, the spade can effectively be used to inflict more damage to your opponent.
As far as the spade goes, lets discuss two types you want to look into.
The second type of spade I wanted to discuss was actually designed for combat. Entrenching shovels have been around since the Roman Legion and Julius Cesar. The Romans would dig a trench around their sleeping area each night, if there was no established camp, to build a rampart and protect them from would be attackers. This would also be a good strategy to use if you have to camp in the open during the zombie attacks.Since then, these shovels have undergone many design changes. The US Army uses a collapsible shovel for it’s entrenching needs. But our needs are more for the killing kind and not so much the digging kind. So I suggest something like the Special Forces Shovel offered by Cold Steal. This implement can dig and be used for gardening, trenching, and burying just like a normal shovel (abet with a tad more difficulty due to shortness of the handle), but is far more superior for attacking with. Imagine the maneuverability and lightness of a combat knife, but with more power behind it and more killing potential.
There are several things that make this weapon a weapon of choice. First, the edges of the shovel are sharpened down like axes or knives. This way it can be swung like an ax. You can chop wood with this baby, or a zed’s head, depending on the task at hand. Second the short handle allows premium maneuverability. It also allows the flexibility to be used in tight spaces (just grip closer to the head), or out in the open where it’s full potential can be released. Third it’s devastating if thrown. With some training this weapon can be thrown like a knife with double the effectiveness (see the video below). Finally it is portable. Unlike it’s long handled cousin, this shovel can be attached to your belt or backpack using a specially designed sheath. I defiantly would recommend the sheath as otherwise the potential for self injury is increased.
Please feel free to add your two cents into this. I encourage discussion as the only way we can guarantee survival is to discuss plans and strengthen each other! So please comment below, or you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org. Please also feel free to Like us on Facebook, or add us to your circles on Google +! You can also follow yours truly on Twitter and Google +!
Till Fate brings our Future…